


Let's All Call in Queer To Work

by gala_apples



Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic At The Disco, The Academy Is..., The Cab, The Used, Young Veins
Genre: Activism, Alternate Universe, Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Prison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-07
Updated: 2012-09-07
Packaged: 2017-11-13 17:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/506154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eight bands react in different ways to the passing of laws making homosexuality illegal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's All Call in Queer To Work

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the quote "If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer." by Robin Tyler. Unless otherwise stated, all the persons in this fic are single.

Ryan wishes that Brendon would smarten up. Not that it really _matters_ to him. Whatever he chooses to do can’t affect Ryan’s life. Not any more. But there’s a part of him that can’t help but occasionally text Pete and try to get information about what Panic! is doing these days. Pete doesn’t always answer, he’s busy with his wife and child and record labels and his clothing company. Panic cracked down the centre when the laws came down, and he and Jon did the smart thing, and Ryan will never regret his choice. But he wishes Brendon the common sense to watch his back, and the luck that others will watch it too. Not in _that way_ , of course.

*

Brendon Urie is mostly straight, but that’s not the point. Spencer is almost entirely straight, and that’s not the point either. The point is Ryan is a fucking coward, and Brendon’s glad to be rid of him. (Mostly).

The law came down as they were working on their third CD, already contemplating the stage show. Ryan had said almost offhandedly that they obviously couldn’t have any more stage gay, so they need to find something else to hook the teenage girls. Brendon had asked, rightly, why they needed to stop, and Ryan, like Brendon was some kind of idiot, had explained the new law.

Brendon knew the law. He also knew that the day he walked out of his home to fend for himself was the last day he let anyone with ‘authority’ tell him what it was and was not okay to like. Surprisingly Spencer had felt the same, and Panic had split. A few phone calls to Pete, and he managed to find them venues they could still play without compromising.

So now they’re officially a underground, queercore band. Brendon’s mostly straight, but that’s really not what matters.

*

Victoria doesn’t mind being the beard. Or as she’s better known to the tabloids, Whoreia Asher. It’s not like the name offends her, in a way it’s sort of funny. They’ve got a song about it; You’re Not In On The Joke, and whenever she sees some article bad mouthing her she hums the beat and thinks about what the alternatives would be.

Really, there are two. The first is that she marries Gabe or Ryland or Alex or Nate. She would stop being a slut, but probably turn into a gold digger, which is just as ridiculous, considering she’s in the _same fucking band_ and gets just as much money as any of the guys. So not only would the names not stop, just alter, she’d also be fucking over three of the guys. Or she could marry none of them, reveal that each kiss and grope caught by a spying paparazzi was a carefully public hoax. And then she wouldn’t be a whore, and all of her band would be scrutinized until the VPL found enough evidence to arrest all four of them.

So she picks neither. She’d rather have a scarlet letter than no band.

*

Gabe has always been aware of his fuck ups. It’s not that he makes mistakes. Mistakes are things like pouring too much sugar in a bowl of cereal and suddenly it tastes disgusting, or using someone else’s toothbrush because he stumbles into the bathroom with his eyes half closed. Gabe doesn’t do _mistakes_ , he does _fuck ups_ , things that have the potential to, and usually do end up messing up his life. Things like getting drunk enough to piss in public and subsequently getting arrested.

Still, it’s not like he could have realised it would come back and bite him in the ass. Pete did a interview with Out, so he did too, and made sure to one-up Pete a bit. And the Katy Perry remake, that was just fun. How was he supposed to know the administration change would result in such a fucking nightmare?

All four of them are lucky that Victoria lets them use her. Gabe still doesn’t have a problem with being gay. It’s nothing wrong with him, it’s entirely the government that’s insane. But until the next president changes the laws back, all of Cobra needs to be as in people’s faces with their heterosexuality as they can be. With the pictures online, they can’t afford anything else.

*

Quinn hates that motherfucker more than he’s every hated anyone or anything in his life. Considering he currently has his every move scripted by wardens and guards, and he constantly faces the chance of getting shanked for voicing an opinion, it says a lot.

Bert is somehow not as full of righteous anger as he is. Quinn doesn’t understand it, but there’s no sense in trying to talk to him about it. Anything about that motherfucker just slips in one ear and out the other. For some reason, Bert actually gives a shit about him and what he thinks. Even before the laws were passed, Quinn never understood it, and no matter what happens in the future, he never will. This entire thing went down because Bert was stupid enough to try to one-up that motherfucker. Except he and his band of whores all had wives, so what they did could be explained away. Quinn and Bert and Jepha weren’t so lucky.

One thing Quinn knows? The first thing he’s going to do when he gets out is burn that motherfucker’s house down to the ground. Maybe then he can go ‘crash on the couch and sleep in his clothes’ with one of his whores, and if Quinn is lucky enough they’ll get caught, and it’ll be his turn in prison.

*

Even though it’s far riskier now, Frank thinks that only makes it more important. Gerard agrees, and he’s the other one who’s opinion matters. It’s nice that Mikey and Ray and Bob don’t object, but Frank knows he would do it anyway, even if they did, as long as Gerard was okay with it.

Jamia has never cared about his tendency to stray towards other men while on tour. It’s an open marriage, as their love for each other is far stronger and more important than the occasional dalliance with someone that provides a body part she can’t. Nor does Frank care about her on and off actions with her best friend since high school. Shit happens, and Frank doesn’t even consider it shit.

The funny thing is he and Gerard have never slept together. Even before Lyn-Z. But the second someone tells him he can’t, all Frank can think is ‘go to hell’. So they continue to make out on stage, far past when the motherfucking Value Protection League gets their law passed. And too fucking bad for them, Gerard and Frank as main perpetrators are both married, and as a side note, Ray and Mikey are, while Bob has a girlfriend. After almost every show someone tries to arrest them, and every show Brian is there with wedding certificates to prove they don’t have the right.

Frank’s gonna keep kissing Gerard until the day he dies. Because somewhere in the slurry of moshing fans along with the misfits and the losers are the bisexuals and the gays and the lesbians, and My Chemical Romance will always be a band that’s on the side of the picked on.

*

William has to believe the retraining will help. He and Gabe used to fool around, back when it didn’t matter. Or, at least Gabe considered it fooling around. William was never stupid about it, he never actually told Gabe he loved him. Gabe is not the kind of person you ever, _ever_ use that phrase with, unless you’re both so drunk that it can come off as a joke.

Gabe was always happy to be in the public’s eye about their bromance. Hell, he used to get mock-jealous that weird fangirls would write porn stories about William and Travis instead of William and himself. William wasn’t as much of an attention whore, but he never minded either.

Then the law passed, and suddenly every picture was another strike against him. Unlike Gabe, William didn’t have a band member to flash his heterosexuality with. He still wants Academy to go somewhere, and they can’t do that if he’s in prison. So he registers with one of the camps they offer as an alternative, and promises Mike and Michel and Siska and Butcher that he’ll be out as soon as he can. As soon as he's straight.

*

The thing is, Fall Out Boy goes on hiatus just before the bill passes. Pretty much every day Andy is grateful for that. Not that he thanks the lord or anything, because there is no big man in the sky. Still, he’s relieved as hell.

There’s not a question in Andy’s mind that it would have become a _thing_. A capital T Thing. They would have been under a microscope with Pete’s perceived infatuation with Patrick, and even though Andy knows for a fact he and Patrick never fucked, or even made out, it wouldn’t matter with all the quotes about Patrick being sunshine and puppies. It wouldn’t have mattered for Pete, with Ashlee as a guard, but Patrick would have been screwed.

Shit, if any of the investigators had followed the trail of fangirls to those talking about Pete and Mikey and the summer of 2005? The traded clothing and the lack of pictures from a photo-whore, and all the other clues that the fangirls had picked up on that were just fine for when they wanted to write stuff about it - Andy didn’t need erotica, thanks, he’d witnessed Mikey’s skinny pale ass more than once, and once was more than enough, but he didn’t begrudge females taking charge of their own sexual interests - would have been horrible. Not only did they have an entire CD’s worth of poorly veiled love songs, they actually had a song called Gay Is Not A Synonym For Shitty.

So no, Andy’s not planning on getting back together with the guys any time soon. They all wanted to do their own thing anyway, and now that getting back together would only draw unwanted attention it’s really better that they don’t.

*

Cash has always enjoyed being a bit of a rebel. He liked it when he was five and sneaking down the stairs to see Santa after being tucked in, he liked it when he was ten and riding his bike even though it was past the time he was supposed to go back to the house. He liked it when he was fifteen and going to his first class of the morning stoned from a wake and bake.

He likes it now. He’s playing to an audience of dykes, fags, and girls that seem permanently glued to their gay guy friends. If any cops bust in, everyone, from the girls in the mohawks making out in the corner to the guys holding hands as they sing along, will be arrested. It’s not likely, DecayDance is better than small time raids. But it’s possible. And it’s worth the risk. When he screams “We are The Cab, Cock and Balls, baby!’ into the microphone before letting Alex start up the first song, and the entire crowd cheers as he dry humps Ian’s leg for a second, it’s so fucking worth it.

*

Pete Wentz has Decaydance, and he has DecayDance. It’s not enough of a difference for most people to notice, just a single capital, but it means everything to him. DecayDance is for his queercore bands. It’s harder to pay them, get them gigs, get their albums produced. Everything needs to be underground, people paid off, sometimes entire bands hidden from the VPL. Rich and offended elderly gay men have a lot to do with it, the elderly women are more likely to channel their interests into protesting, as they're less likely to get arrested.

It’s dangerous as all hell. If he gets caught he’ll be colluding with homosexuals, providing them the means to spread their wicked message. Ashlee knows but doesn’t tell him to stop, she knows he couldn’t, not even for her. Everyone needs a group to belong to.


End file.
